Whether you have kids together already or are making an official blended family, it’s a great idea to have the kids join in on all the fun involved in planning a wedding. After all this is a huge day for them too! This will be an event they will never forget so make it so they look back on it with fond, fun-filled memories instead of remembering how stressed mom and dad were.
Planning
Talk it out. Check in with your kids and see how they are feeling about all of the wedding plans. Ask your kids how they’d feel most comfortable taking part and find an age-appropriate way to include them. Are they feeling a little left out? Do they want to help mom pick out the perfect dress? Give your mini-wedding planner a voice. Regular check in’s and small parent/kid dates for ice cream will help them feel like they aren’t getting lost in all the planning activity.
Bring them to cake or caterer tastings. What better way to find out what kids will eat at the reception than for them to taste test it? Theknot.com says “You’ll instantly become the coolest parent ever if you offer cake for lunch. Showing your children you care about their opinions will make them feel special, and they’ll love telling guests they helped pick the flavor of the cake. Bonus: If your child’s choice isn’t your cup of tea, see if your baker can go half-and-half with both of your choices.”
Include them in engagement photos & announcements. If you have a wedding website or online RSVP the family can be included in a lot of ways. Theknot.com says to “include a section suggesting things to do in town, and some of your favorite spots as a family. Give a shout-out to your kids’ favorite restaurants and what they recommend you order, or their favorite activity to do when your guests are in the area.” Even including their reaction to the engagement can be a fun anecdote for your guests to read. There is so much that goes into planning a wedding that many hands lighten the load. If there are age-appropriate jobs that the kids can join in on, have them do it. Stuffing envelopes, placing stamps or tieing up wedding favors are a great place to start.
Ceremony
Give them a role. Kids can be unpredictable in a ceremony, which can account for some great pictures. But giving them a specific job can make them feel important. If you are having a traditional wedding the job of ring bearer-flower girl is fun. If your children are older make them best man, maid of honor or bridesmaids and groomsmen. Lots of little kids carry a sign that says “Here comes the bride!”, even fur babies can be given this job or incorporate both and have your child pull a wagon decked out with flowers with the family dog sitting inside. It’s always a good idea to have a designated family member be in charge of escorting little kids or doggies away from the ceremony if the need arises.
Ask them to walk you down the aisle. What a great honor for your child to give you away to your partner. Or have them join in on the “first look” moment. Giving them a sneak peek of what you two look like right before you walk down the aisle will be an unforgettable moment. Imagine the pictures!
Include them in the unity ceremony. The knot.com says “If you’re having a unity candle, sand ceremony or nontraditional unity ceremony alternative, this is the perfect chance to involve your kids. By getting married, you really are making one big family, or reaffirming the existing family, so it makes total sense to give them a special role. Let them help light the candle, include multiple sand colors or come up with something totally new and creative, like family handprints you can display in your home after the wedding.”
Write them into your vows. This is a simple way to make a big statement about the commitment and the interconnecting of the family. You can make a calligraphy version of the vows and put it up in their room to always remind them of your commitment to each other and the family as a whole.
Reception
Kid friendly bites. Talk to your Miami catering company about making some kid friendly apps or meals. Even creative plating into a funny face or using sauces to make the adult food fun can appease their appetite.
Create their own signature drink. Shirley temples or non-alcoholic daiquiris in cool cups will make them feel like a part of the cool club. Even naming the specialty drink after the family or a child is a fresh idea. Consult your party vendors in Miami about some refreshing ideas.
Parent child dance. That first dance between the newly married is a treasured moment and then again when you dance with your parents. How meaningful would it be to have a parent child dance? Maybe you have a song you love to belt out in the car? Or a tune special to your heart that expresses your love for your child. You could even incorporate a choreographed portion to wow your guests!
Kid activities. Todaysparent.com suggests adding a low mess coloring or craft station to your reception area. Kids love to dance and including some of their favorite tunes in the playlist will have them moving and grooving. No need for a flash mob; the TikTok dances will have the whole crowd dancing together!
Kiddos tuckered out? Have a designated trusted family member to watch out for them and take them home or back to the hotel room for some wind down time.
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